There's Nothing About Mary

Survivor 16:2 Micronesia minicap

Okay, let's pick up where we left off....the ouster of Jonny Fairplay. What else can we say? It was about time the plug was pulled on this self-proclaimed diabolical mastermind (who turned out to be little more than a waste of time this season). So let's move along people; nothing to see here....

On the way back from Tribal Council, Ozzy proves once again that he's the man by catching a fish with his bare hands. The Favorites gather to eat and gloat - after all, they got rid of the plague, they're eating well, and all is well in Favorite-Land. The couples (Ozzy/Amanda; James/Parvati) continue to flirt, under the watchful eyes of Eliza and Jonathan, just to name two.

Despite their win, the Fans are feeling a bit behind the eight ball, considering their lack of fire, shelter, and food. Alexis gets a coconut shell flaming, but the fire goes out before it's productive. Kathy complains about the lack of shelter, while the others stand by and wait for fire. Some of the men go off to look for dry fire wood while Kathy continues to complain. So self-appointed leader Joel finally tells her to stop moaning and do something about the shelter situation.

Kathy, new best gay friend Chet and Tracy head to a small cave, planning to make it their shelter, but find they're too late - Jason has already staked a claim and is cleaning the area for himself. Tracy and Kathy decide they're being shunned by the younger members of the tribe, and decide to make a lean-to for their little outcast alliance.

Favorites are fishing, and Ozzy provides for his family by bringing in a huge clam. (He's starting to seem more like Ozzie Nelson....or maybe even the Wizard of Oz. But maybe that's just the new haircut.) Ozzy admits in a confessional that he is attracted to Amanda, but didn't want to pursue it because it would put a giant target on his back. Hmmm, would that be in addition to the giant target that's already there? Anyway, you know what they say about best laid plans.

Coupling continues as Parvati and James go on a coconut hunt, using her amazing brain and his awesome brawn. She says using her flirting strategy is easy with James, because he's so cute. Which, yeah, but what happened to playing smarter this time around? Seems that plan went out the window when the eye candy showed up on the beach. And it seems that Amanda is in the same boat, also mentioning she doesn't want her attraction to Ozzy to mess up her game. Ho hum.

Over at Fan Beach, the outcast alliance is finishing up their shelter, and the seven others decide to build a shelter nearby so they can share a fire. Sounds good to everyone, and Chet even agrees to help them build it properly. Thing begin to fall in place, and the fans even get a fire going and boil some water. AND, just to show they won't be outdone by the has-beens (er, Favorites), the Fans come up with a coupling of their own, with Mikey B (what happened to A and C?) and Mary (who?). Mikey B proclaims this "strategy," but Joel is already eying the target on Mikey's back.

Anyone remember the old Steve Miller song, "Jungle Love"? Well, apparently Cirie does, and she's hearing it resound in the Favorite's camp as Ozzy and Amanda make out (thinking the others are asleep). Of course, who could sleep through that? Cirie makes cracks about birth announcements, while Jonathan suggests a hotel room should be in order. Or maybe a double's trip to Loser Lounge?

The two tribes gather for the reward challenge, and the Fans applaud the Favorites for the "good job" (for voting off Jonny, not for the imminent birth of "Ozlets"). Once again, it's a double-duty challenge - for immunity as well as for reward, which in this case is a fishing boat and gear (or, for the Favorites, overkill, since they already have Marine Boy - er, Ozzy - on their side). And then there's the added bonus of sending one of the other tribe's members to Exile Island, where a hidden immunity idol is, well, hidden.

This time, five swimmers from each team will will race to a platform, smash a tile to release a key, then dive into the water to retrieve it. After five keys are back at shore, the team's key master will open a chest full of puzzle pieces. Then the team's puzzle makers will put together a puzzle - in this case, a map of Micronesia. The Fans sit Kathy out, and the race is on.

Ozzy puts the Favorite tribe in the lead right away. No surprise there. What is a surprise is Chet's total ineffectiveness at finding the key, and his lackadaisical method of swimming back to the beach. By the time he walks ashore (yes, I mean walk - didn't this kid ever sprint in gym class?), the Favorites have taken what turns out to be an unbeatable lead. Yau, Cirie and Eliza have the map together before the Fan's key master has a chance to get the puzzle pieces out.

The Favorites choose Kathy to go to Exile, allowing her an opportunity to gain a second immunity idol (and we know how helpful having two can be, don't we, James? Then Jeff announces a twist - the Favorites also have to choose one of their own to go with Kathy. Cirie seems to volunteer for this dubious honor.

The Fans head back to camp, mulling over their choices for the upcoming Tribal Council. Now, this answer seems almost obvious - Kathy, Tracy and Chet are the outcasts, Kathy has at least one immunity idol, and Chet blew the challenge for them. So do the other seven have any reason NOT to vote Chet?

Well, there's always someone who's over-analyzing the situation (and it's usually me), so of course Mikey B spots the fly in the ointment. What if Kathy does secure that second idol, and gives one of the idols to Chet? Then the majority alliance's votes for Chet will be nullified and whoever the outcast alliance votes for will be out. Mikey suggests the seven split their votes - three for Tracy and four for Chet - just in case.

Over on Exile Island, Cirie and Kathy are going every which way trying to find the hidden idol. Kathy seems to have fallen under Cirie's spell (not hard to imagine, since Cirie is one of the best social players ever to land on a Survivor beach). I'm not sure how they'll split the idol if they find it, but we never do find out for sure. They find at least four clues that we're shown, but we're not told how the hunt ends. Mystery!

Mikey B is secure in his plan, but Joel begins to waiver....especially because he believes he should be the tribal leader, not Mikey. He notes that Mikey is growing close to Mary, and that perhaps that alliance/coupling needs to be broken up. Thinking they need Mikey to win challenges, Joel approaches Erik and Alexis with his plan to vote off Mary (who?). They're on board with the plan, and tell Chet and Tracy to vote for Mary as well. (Chet is visibly relieved, as well he should be.)

Kathy asks Joel about tribal council, and he responds, "Don't ask questions. Vote Mary." Kathy goes to her fellow outcasts, who see the vote as an opportunity but don't completely trust Joel. But what the heck, what do they have to lose?

Tribal Council - Jeff relives Chet's performance (or lack thereof) at the reward/immunity challenge. The tribe moans and groans about a variety of things - Chet's swimming skills (or, again, the lack thereof), the conditions at the camp, the two different shelters, and so on. Everything is quite chaotic, which is just as you'd imagine it would be with this particular group of people. Notably, Chet seems to feel in danger, while Mary feels pretty secure in her position with the tribe.

And the vote falls like this - two for Chet, two for Tracy, five for Mary (who? what?) Mary and Mikey are visibly stunned, and Jeff celebrates, "First tribal council, first blindside." How many more are to come?

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There's Nothing About Mary

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