Is There a Doctor in the House?

Survivor 16: Fans Versus Favorites episode 12
Recap part one - in which we see the mini-me's smashed...

Some weeks, it’s just a joy to watch Survivor. Well, okay, I like watching it every week…that’s why I’m here, doncha know?....but some weeks leave me feeling better than others. And then there are weeks like this week, when I keep saying, “Yes!” to myself giddily because nothing turned out the way I thought it would, and that’s a very good thing indeed. But let’s get to it, shall we?

So we open this episode with some truly gross stuff, even worse than watching James munch down on bat soup. It’s another medical intervention, y’all, this time with James’ finger being the object of much surveillance. James acts like it’s all no big deal (and it probably isn’t to him; after all, the guy digs graves for a living) but the medic disagrees. She cleans it up and lets him go back to camp, but wants to check the hand again in the morning. James reluctantly agrees, noting he needs his hands to work. Cause that shovel doesn’t dig dirt on its own, right?

By morning, James isn’t the only medically gimpy Survivor at camp. Apparently Alexis tripped over her dimples and fell, injuring her knee. She’s limping, and Cirie (a nurse by trade) notes that both injuries look bad. She sounds as sympathetic as possible as she adds that may mean two less people she’ll have to fight for the million. Heck of a bedside manner, that one.

Reward challenge. It’s another one of those tell-tale challenges in which each castaway answers leading questions in private, then the answers are tallied and revealed while the players guess what was the most popular answer. Those who get it right (that is, guess the answer; it doesn’t matter if they personally got it right, if that makes sense) get to chop a rope of another tribe member. When three ropes are chopped on a person, his mini-me is smashed and they’re out of the game.

And the reward? Only the most popular, time with loved ones. This time around, the loved ones include Amanda’s sister Katrina (who tells her she smells better than last time – hee), Cirie’s hubby HB (I still think it stands for “honey bunny”), Alexis’s brother Nathan, Natalie’s mom Rocky, James’ dad James, Parvati’s mom Gail and Erik’s cleaner cut brother, Kurt.

Cute moment when Kurt comes out – Erik points out to his brother, “That’s Jeff Probst! He’s just standing there!” like the good fan-boy that he is. And, honestly? That’s what I wanted to see more of in this season – more of the gape-eyed awestruck adoration from the fans. I mean, how many of us get tongue tied when we see a celebrity? Rachael Ray served me beet risotto last December (a long story better left for the culinary blog) and I was just reduced to a grinning, nodding, beet-eating idiot. And that was just Rachael Ray! I cannot imagine the dribble I would become if I was ever in an elevator with Bruce Springsteen.

But I digress. The game continues, and the surveys are completed. First question: who does most for the tribe? Everyone but James says James (who really believes it about himself, but is way too humble to say so out loud). Amanda, Erik and Parvati take hits, while James takes two.

Next question: who never shuts up? The correct answer is Parvati, which is verified by mom Gail (“I knew it!”). This time around, Erik and Cirie take single chops while Alexis takes two. Everyone’s still alive, for now.

Who thinks they’re in control of the game – but they’re not? Everyone but Parv and Alexis say it’s Parvati, which is the correct answer. The chopping makes its way around, and Parvati’s last rope is cut, smashing a big stick with a spike in mini-Parv’s face. Ouch! Amanda points out, “That’s a little vicious, Jeff,” while the others laugh. Natalie, Cirie and Amanda also take hits this round.

Here’s a fun one – who’s the most honest? Apparently Alexis is the answer, but Cirie is the only one who gets it right. What good is being honest if no one knows it? Well, anyway, Cirie does the final chop of Erik’s rope and the fluffy do goes aflying off his statue.

Who are you least likely to invite to a family dinner? The answer is James, although I have no idea why (except for maybe the palate for bats). Everyone gets it right except Natalie. James, Cirie and Natalie get their final whacks this round (should someone cue up, “Don’t Stop Believing”?). Cirie has the final whack, and has to choose the winner – Amanda or Alexis. She whacks Amanda (although I’m not sure why – aren’t they playing that “Favorite Girls to the End” game?) and Alexis wins the challenge.

Alexis is told to choose two players and their loved ones, who will accompany her and her brother to Stingless Jellyfish Lagoon (or something like that). She picks Cirie and her girl Nat. She also has to pick someone to go to Exile Island, which Amanda makes easy by raising her hand. So, if you’re taking notes, Alexis sends Amanda to Exile and sets the stage for everything that is to come. Just keep that in mind.

James is met by the medic, who decides it’s too big a risk to leave him and his nasty injured finger in this dirty environment. James notes he’d rather be voted out (which looks like it was coming soon, anyway) but for the sake of all those unburied bodies, he’s out of the game. He wishes the rest of the tribe (read: Erik and Parv) goodbye. Erik notes he’s the only man left. Parvati rushes to the dictionary to look up the meaning of the word, “Man.”

Will Cirie be stung by a jellyfish? Will Erik be stung by the Black Widows? Will the viewer be stung by the editing? For the answers to these and other questions, stay tuned to this blog for part two of this Survivor recap.

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Is There a Doctor in the House?

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