Damage Control

Yes, ladies and gents, this week was all about damage control. Parvati, of course, had to do a bit, as she had betrayed the Showmance Alliance in following Cirie’s plan against Ozzie. (Yeah, I know Parvati thinks she’s the mastermind, which just proves that Cirie is truly the master!) But before we get to that, let me do some damage control of my own. Unfortunately, my own island (in the middle of Jersey) was hit by some sort of ugly tropical flu last week, rendering us helpless and unable to lift a finger to blog. Which means, of course, that I missed blathering on about the excitement of Ozzie’s blindside, and yet another foolish man going down with an idol in his pocket. Now when will I ever have that chance again?

Anyway, sorry to have left you. Think of it as my own writer’s strike, but this time with the writer’s head in a bucket. And now let’s get onto our previously scheduled season….

Okay, so the damage is done, the king is dead, long live the black widow (whomever she may be). We open with Erik blathering on about the airtight nature of a successful blindside, noting that if he had been in on it, he probably would have told Ozzie. Which, of course, is precisely why he isn’t in on it. Erik seems a little lost without the Big Man on Island leading him by the lease, but we’ll cut him a break tonight since it’s his birthday (and there’s no ice cream for him to scoop, poor thing).

Amanda and James are also discussing Ozzie’s sudden departure, which has more serious implications for them. Amanda’s upset, but James admires the game play. Amanda says in confessional that Cirie, Parv, Natalie and Alexis are the new alliance, which of course she was told a while back, but whatever. She also says things like, “Game on!” and “They’re here to play” which makes me wonder what Amanda thought was actually going on the previous 29 days. To quote the townspeople in Beauty and the Beast, “She’s a beauty but a funny girl.”

Oh, and Cirie points out that James’ finger is getting really really icky. Like infected and needs help icky. Foreshadowing, anyone?

Parvati starts her damage control with James. He asks straight out where she’s going with this, and she admits she’s looking at an all female final five. Now, James may be the dumbest Survivor ever (though he’s been greatly challenged for the title this season) but even he sees this means he’s on the way out.

Next on the hit list: Amanda. Parvati assures her that she’s still part of the plan, and Cirie joins them as they vow they’ll be the final three. Amanda admits they may have another plan in mind – after all, she wasn’t in on their last plan – but wants to stay on their good side right now, since she thinks Parv is running the show.

Auction time! Each Survivor is given $500 to bid in $20 increments, and no sharing of money or items this time around. First up is a covered dish which Cirie wins for $120. Inside is a hot dog, fries and fixings. Next Erik wins another covered item for $80, which he immediately trades for the box Carol Merrill, er, I mean Jeff offers up in exchange. Good move – he turned in his jar of octopus parts for a tray of nachos.

Next Natalie wins a $240 bowl of bat soup (covered, of course). She blanches and leaves it, and James asks if he could have it. Jeff okays that, and I covered my eyes as James snacks on.

Then a PBJ sandwich (uncovered) is offered. The girls are all over the bidding, with Amanda winning for $280. The next covered dish goes to Natalie for $240, which is revealed to be a bottle with a note in it. She reads she is to send one person to Exile Island immediately and take all of his money. James and Jason haven’t spent anything, so they look like sitting bats, and Nat asks Jeff if the hidden immunity idol is back in play. Probst confirms it is, and Natalie picks Jason, who is not happy even though he has the chance to get a real idol this time.

Back to the bidding. Another covered dish, which Jeff says comes with another layer. Using Jason’s money, Nat wins with a $380 bid, and is thrilled to see her prize is a chocolate cake. The “second layer” is a note instructing her to choose three other survivors, and the four of them would have 60 seconds to stuff all the cake they can into their mouths. Natalie chooses Parvati, Cirie, and Alexis (no surprise there), then warns them not to hog the cake since she hasn’t had anything to eat yet. Well, you could have had the bat soup, so quit your complaining.

Next we’re treated to 60 seconds of cake cramming, which is almost as bad as James and the bat, which culminates in Erik paying $40 to lick the remains off Cirie’s fingers. And with that, the auction….and part one of the recap….is over.

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