Season 17, Episode one, hour two
In which we’re introduced to the onion alliance
Before I start the second hour, I forgot to mention one more thing about the first. Fang was so unorganized and divided that Jeff sort of pressured them to chose a leader, and the team chooses the reluctant GC. Just wanted you to keep that in mind.
Anyway, onto hour two:
Fun Times
Gillian searches for elephant dung. Charlie and Marcus flirt. Randy breaks his glasses to make fishhooks. Bob rocks the house – and builds it, too. And GC, in his first decision as tribe leader, quits.
The Challenge
Only one this time around. This is one of those push a huge boulder and accumulate keys, unlock locks and make puzzle kind of deals. Ho hum. Bob rocks, and Jeff notes that Gillian is no help at all. Way to plant seeds, Probst. Kota wins fishing gear (not glasses, though), immunity and the right to send someone to Exile Island. They pick Dan, another lawyer type who is still wearing a tie. (We’ve come a long way from the nakedness of Richard Hatch, eh?)
Exile Island
New twist time: once you get to Exile, you can choose between comfort and a clue. Dan picks the clue, then beats himself up trying to find a sandy crater. He even looks under water, but comes up all wet.
Meanwhile, back at camp…
Jillian and Susie scramble to get the target off their back. Marcus forms the Onion Alliance – named after the rings in an onion – which will include Charlie, Jacquie, Corinne and Bob (but just for votes). Members of Fang become convinced Dan found the idol and discuss possibly offing him. Both teams get fish. But can Randy see?
Tribal Council
Because this tribe is all drama, Dan makes a big show of dumping his bag to prove he doesn’t have the idol. So the team sends Gillian a-packing. Note that this team lost three out of three – not a good start. Wanna place bets on which member will turn out to be this season’s Stephanie?
TAGS: Challenges, Exile Island, Jeff Probst, Reward, Survivor, Survivor Gabon
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Season 17, Episode One, Hour One
in which one tribe is labelled "The Stupidest People On Earth"
Remember the first time Survivor was in Africa? Remember Frank and Brandon on the drive-in date, Lex following his gut (which was always wrong), Elisabeth losing her hair? Ah, good times.
Well, last night was the premiere of Survivor: Gabon which brings us back to Africa in what Mark Burnett and crew are calling “Earth’s last Eden.” This is the reality show’s 17th season (and real fans can name all the winners on a lit match) which takes us back to the dark continent. As the two hour (yay!) premiere opens, the castaways are unceremoniously dumped the castaways into the playground of elephants, rhinos and hippos, oh my! Then Emmy-winning host Jeff Probst (he of the deep dimples and endless supply of khaki) has them introduce themselves. In true Survivor fashion (Gary Hogeboom, anyone?), some of the contestants lie about their profession. One of these is Olympic track and field gold medalist Crystal, who passes herself off as a mom and a preschool teacher.
The Teams
As is African custom, the oldest will make the important decisions, so Gillian (nurse, 61, annoying accent) and Bob (physics teacher, 58, bow tied and awesome) step up for the schoolyard picks. Which turned out to be absolutely bizarre. Instead of going for the strapping hunks this time, the very first pick is Crystal, whom Gillian embraces as “a fellow mom” (proving Gillian is no judge of character). Bob picks “the bald guy,” who turns out to be Ace. The rest of the split turns out this way:
Kota (the yellow tribe): Bob, Ace, Sugar (I know!), Marcus, Charlie, Paloma, Kelly, Jacquie and Corinne
Fang (the red tribe): Gillian, Crystal, Susie, Matty, Randy, Dan, GC, Ken and Michelle
Michelle was none-too-pleased at being last pick and, even though I’ve been there (I had to promise to do the captain’s homework on my fifth grade kickball team), I know you can’t get all pouty and mean when playing a game for a million bucks that is, for the most part, social. But social doesn’t seem to be Miss Michelle’s strong suit. More on that later.
The Challenges
First challenge was a run up a hill, with individual immunity for the first member of each team to the top and extra provisions for the first total team to make it there. GC and Marcus leave the teams behind as they scramble for the individual prize, and Kota easily wins the team award, getting corn in addition to the rice given both teams.
The team immunity challenge was one of those obstacle-courses-while-tethered-together deals we’ve come to know and yawn through in the past 17 seasons. Anyway, Kota wins again – sending Fang to bite off one of their own. (Hee!)
The Social Game
Bottom line: Michelle don’t play dat. She bonds a bit with Ken the game geek – they even swoon over a meal of termites – but she declares the rest of the team “retards” and “the stupidest people on earth.” Quite endearing, eh?
On the other side of the elephant dung, Charlie (a lawyer of the Clay Aiken persuasion) is crushing on Marcus (he of the beautiful blue eyes, the doctor’s degree and, oh yeah, the heterosexual orientation). Though he’s careful to tell us “that’s not how I roll,” Marcus is not above flirting with Charlie to stay on his good side. Michelle should be taking notes.
The Injury Report
Randy bumped his head on a branch and needed stitches. Because I so needed to see that.
Tribal Council
Well, Gillian is old and feeble and holding the tribe back…..but they’d rather live with that then be called names, so Michelle is out.
TAGS: Africa, Gabon, Jeff Probst, Reality Shows, Survivor
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Congratulations to Survivor host Jeff Probst, who was awarded the very first Emmy award for Reality Show Host last night.
Probst, he of the deepest dimples and the tribal snuffer, beat out some pretty formidable competition. Of course, I was rooting for Jeff (sentimental voter that I am) but, if he hadn't prevailed, I would have been okay with a Tom Bergeron win. After all, he doesn't get the benefit of editing that Probst has. And people actually faint on his show!
A distant third for me would be Heidi Klum. Oh, she's all sorts of gorgeous, and I am an absolute Project Runway junkie, but let's face it - the true rock of that show is Tim Gunn. Heidi is competent, but window-dressing, y'all.
Howie Mandel? I think game show hosting is not really the same thing as reality show hosting, so I'm not sure how he made this list at all. Unless the Academy just wanted a chance to poke fun at his OCD....
I am so so so glad that Ryan Seacrest didn't take home the trophy. I really don't understand what the fuss is about Seacrest. He hosts as if the show is all about him, and even talks over judge's remarks. And I still find him interchangeable with Brian Dunkelman (who has a whole chapter in the next edition of "Where Are They Now?"
One last question - why oh why wasn't the marvelous Phil Keoghan part of this category? The Amazing Race is the only reality show to ever win in that category, and Keoghan is the show's stable backbone. His exclusion is one of Emmy's greatest mysteries - and it may have benefited Probst big time. After all, Hollywood legend has it that Keoghan was Probst's only real competition when it came to the Survivor hosting position.
TAGS: Amazing Race, Emmy, Emmy Hosts, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst, Phil Keoghan, Ryan Seacrest, Survivor
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It looks like Survivor producer Mark Burnett may need counsel - and not of the tribal kind.
The reality TV mastermind is being sued by his former business partner, Conrad Riggs, who claims Burnett 
reneged on a profit-sharing plan the two had. Riggs says Burnett agreed to hand over ten percent of the profits on his prime time shows - which include The Apprentice as well as Survivor. Apparently Burnett paid up through 2007, when he decided he wanted a new payment plan.
Of course, this is all he said, he said, as there is no written contract between the two. (What were they thinking?) Apparently Riggs helped Burnett get into TV and advised him on how to pitch TV execs. Who knows? Maybe there's a new show idea in all this - you know, "Survivor: Small Claims Court." Or maybe Judge Judy can look for an apprentice?
TAGS: Apprentice, Celebrity News, Mark Burnett, Survivor
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CBS has announced its fall line-up, and guess what's up first? That's right - the seventeenth season of our favorite competitive reality show, Survivor. The first episode of Survivor: Gabon will air on September 18, four days before CBS officially launches its new season.
So circle that date.....and check out the rest of the station's fall line-up here.
TAGS: Cbs, Gabon, Jeff Probst, Season, Survivor
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“New Classics” List Places Survivor Sixth
In their June 27-July 4 double issue, Entertainment Weekly named its top ten New Classic TV Shows of the past 25 years – and guess what was the only reality show to make the cut? Yeah, you got it.
“Survivor” placed sixth on the list, which was topped by “The Simpsons.” Hey, I have no argument with that….but the rest of the list is dubious at best. In case you’re curious:
1. The Simpsons
2. The Sopranos
3. Seinfeld
4. The X-Files
5. Sex and the City
6. Survivor
7. The Cosby Show
8. Lost
9. Friends
10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What, no “The Wonder Years”? No “thirtysomething”? No “Beverly Hills 90210”? And what about the juggernaut of "American Idol"?
Okay, so maybe I’m the only one who thinks the classic that launched teen programming – and Shannon Dougherty – is noteworthy. But leaving “thirtysomething” off and including “Lost”? I have to pull the plug on this list.
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In an interview with TV Guide, Parvati Shallow explained how she became the show’s ultimate favorite.
“I made some bold moves, I took some big risks and I’m not going to apologize,” says the Los Angeles charity organizer, who won the $1 million prize in Survivor: Micronesia – Fans Vs. Favorites.
Shallow also discussed some of the tricks of editing in the series, including her last visit to Exile Island, where she was shown confidently sunning herself instead of seeking the coveted Immunity Idol.
“Actually, I found the idol, but they decided not to show it,” Shallow says, adding she found the fourth clue – which lead straight to the idol – while snorkeling. “I left it there because I didn’t want to bring the idol back and wreak havoc.”
A bit funny, coming from the queen of the blindside…and the show’s latest millionaire.
Read more about it at:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tvguide/362878_tvgif13.html
TAGS: Exile Island, Immunity Idol, Micronesia, Parvati Shallow, Survivor
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The cameras won’t start rolling until next month, but in an interview with the Associated Press, Survivor host Jeff Probst is reporting preproduction problems with the season’s 17th season.
Billed as Survivor: Gabon – Earth’s Last Eden, the next Survivor session will return to Africa, where the reality show’s third season was filmed. Filming is scheduled to start next month – but will it?
Probst described a variety of problems, including a delay in shipping. “One aspect of Survivor this is different from a lot of shows is that we have to ship throughout the season, and we’re about 30 days behind now, which is a major problem,” Probst says.
“We’re going to be fine on the show, but the crew housing is not there. We’re going to be in tents.”
As if that wasn’t enough, Probst added a crane fell over and a cargo hold of approximately $100,000 worth of food is missing. Wildlife is, well, wild, and has presented its own set of problems.
“We have a danger problem with animals that we’re trying to figure out how to handle,” Probst says. “There’s so much truly wild life out there, we’re not sure what to do. We don’t want the animals around for safety reasons, but we’d love to have a hippo sneak in every so often.”
Maybe if they offered the hippo a buff?
Read more about it at:
http://tiny.cc/rM9tQ
TAGS: Africa, Eden, Gabon, Jeff Probst, Survivor, Television
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Survivor 16: Fans Versus Favorites episode 12
Recap part two - in which the smug are repaid...
So meanwhile on Jellyfish Island….there are tons of jellyfish. Sincerely. This looks like it would be really fun to do, though I do worry a bit about Cirie. Remember back in her first season, when she was afraid of leaves? Good times.
On Exile, Amanda is hunting for the idol. Hey, if idiots like Ozzy and Jason could find it, she should have no problem with it. She does find the clues easily enough, but learns in the last clue that the idol is buried back at camp. Which, of course, will make it a bit difficult to dig up….
The Jellyfish brigade gets back to camp, where they learn of James’ sudden departure. (No, that was not a gravedigger joke.) Cirie points out that they have to beat Erik at the next immunity challenge if the Black Widows want to avoid eating their own. Which, of course, is inevitable sooner or later, but Cirie and company prefer later.
Morning, and Alexis is wobblier than ever. (Is “wobblier” even a word? Apparently my spell check thinks so. Whee!) Parv asks if she would like to be voted out, which would be a convenient solution to a pressing problem, but no go. Nice try, though.
Parv and the two fan girls agree that Erik goes next, which duh! If you want an all female final five, did you really have to point out that Erik is of the non-female persuasion? (Although, with his Goldilocks and Ozzy-crush, Erik can give off mixed signals. Just saying.) Natalie mentions she couldn’t win in a final three situation if Amanda was there, sort of planting the seed just in case Erik does win immunity. Parvati says she doesn’t want to backstab Amanda at this point, since they’ve been together since day one (well, except for that little rift during the Ozzy blindside). Interestingly, Parv doesn’t tell them not to vote for Amanda….she just says she can’t be a part of it. Nor does she need to be, doncha know?
Immunity Challenge! Amanda gets brought in from Exile Island and brought up to date on the James situation. The challenge will involve firing a high-powered rifle at colored saki bottles, trying to break the bottles of your color. The first person to break three of their bottles wins. Natalie hits right away. Amanda misses, Parvati hits, Cirie misses. Ho hum. Cut to the chase….Erik hits three bottles first and wins immunity. Uh oh, looks like a spider is about to be exterminated.
Back at camp, Amanda dumps her bags to prove she did not find the hidden immunity idol. A great move on her part. It lets the others think they can safely vote her off without splitting votes – and gives her a bit of time to actually find the idol before TC. Bravo, Amanda!
So, while the fans go for the chickens (remember the chickens? Remember when Cirie was afraid of the chickens?), Amanda pulls Parv aside and comes clean. First they decide to vote off Alexis (Parv’s choice – Amanda wanted Nat, but for some reason goes along). Parv tells Amanda the consensus is that she’s going tonight, but Amanda says she’ll try to appeal to Erik, since she saved him in the Amy vote. In the meantime, she needs to find the idol. True, dat.
Erik admits to Amanda that it’s either her or Parvati, since they’re big threats. Amanda tries to appeal to his sense of fairness, but he says she’ll beat him in the end game if he lets her stay around. He lets her know that he’ll be voting for her, and she flashes sad eyes at him.
As Erik passes the plucked chicken to Cirie, he passes the word as well – Amanda goes tonight. Cirie agrees. She’s sad to see her pal go, but admits it’s not the worst move for her, strategically speaking. She does go to Amanda and fills her in. Amanda says she and Parv are voting for Alexis, and mentions that Cirie could go with them and force a tie. Cirie says she couldn’t, because with her luck, she’d end up picking the purple rock of doom tie breaker and be out herself. Since Amanda can appreciate self-preservation, she respects this and tells Cirie not to force the tie. She also asks Cirie a telling question – if things weren’t like this, would Cirie still be on board with the other favorites to the end? Of course, Cirie is on with anyone until the end, so she confirms this.
Parvati watches the others eating in the cave as Amanda starts digging for the idol. Cirie asks where Amanda is, but Parvati says she told girlfriend she stunk, so she must be trying to freshen up. Hee.
Tribal. The three known jury members are brought in, then are surprised to learn that James – now surgically hooked to an IV – is joining their ranks. Probst asks Amanda if she looked for the hidden idol (which brings cheers from the jury) but she says she couldn’t find it. She admits she knows she’s on the block tonight, saying only Parv is voting with her. And then she lets the jury know that Erik came to her when he needed a vote, but went to “greener grass” when it was her time of need. Nice seed planting, there.
Natalie and Alexis both chime in that Amanda is the biggest threat for the finals. Nat says Amanda did nothing wrong to any of the current jury members (I hope they took note!) while Alexis says she adores Amanda, which is why she was upfront about the vote. Which is happening right about now….
As Cirie goes to vote, Amanda makes the classic “slash across the throat” sign. Cirie comes back and holds Amanda’s hand as the others go vote.
Before he announces the results, Probst reminds the players that now is the time to play the hidden immunity idol if you have it. There’s a moment of silence, then Amanda pipes up, “About that, Jeff,” and reaches into her bag. The faces are priceless – the jury is openly celebrating, Cirie smiles (was she surprised?) while the fans are crestfallen. Swinging the idol as she heads toward Jeff, Amanda tells the tribe that, when she told them she didn’t have the idol, she didn’t have it – yet. Yep, she blindsided them – and she didn’t even have to lie!
Jeff reads the votes, and the first four – all Amanda – don’t count. The final two votes are for Alexis, who hugs Natalie before getting snuffed.
Next week: Everyone is courting Erik, who appears to want Cirie and Parv with him at the end. Which, of course, doesn’t go over too well with Nat, who overhears.
TAGS: Survivor Television Jeff Probst Micronesia Tribal Council Cirie Amanda Fans Favorite Idol
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Survivor 16: Fans Versus Favorites episode 12
Recap part one - in which we see the mini-me's smashed...
Some weeks, it’s just a joy to watch Survivor. Well, okay, I like watching it every week…that’s why I’m here, doncha know?....but some weeks leave me feeling better than others. And then there are weeks like this week, when I keep saying, “Yes!” to myself giddily because nothing turned out the way I thought it would, and that’s a very good thing indeed. But let’s get to it, shall we?
So we open this episode with some truly gross stuff, even worse than watching James munch down on bat soup. It’s another medical intervention, y’all, this time with James’ finger being the object of much surveillance. James acts like it’s all no big deal (and it probably isn’t to him; after all, the guy digs graves for 
a living) but the medic disagrees. She cleans it up and lets him go back to camp, but wants to check the hand again in the morning. James reluctantly agrees, noting he needs his hands to work. Cause that shovel doesn’t dig dirt on its own, right?
By morning, James isn’t the only medically gimpy Survivor at camp. Apparently Alexis tripped over her dimples and fell, injuring her knee. She’s limping, and Cirie (a nurse by trade) notes that both injuries look bad. She sounds as sympathetic as possible as she adds that may mean two less people she’ll have to fight for the million. Heck of a bedside manner, that one.
Reward challenge. It’s another one of those tell-tale challenges in which each castaway answers leading questions in private, then the answers are tallied and revealed while the players guess what was the most popular answer. Those who get it right (that is, guess the answer; it doesn’t matter if they personally got it right, if that makes sense) get to chop a rope of another tribe member. When three ropes are chopped on a person, his mini-me is smashed and they’re out of the game.
And the reward? Only the most popular, time with loved ones. This time around, the loved ones include Amanda’s sister Katrina (who tells her she smells better than last time – hee), Cirie’s hubby HB (I still think it stands for “honey bunny”), Alexis’s brother Nathan, Natalie’s mom Rocky, James’ dad James, Parvati’s mom Gail and Erik’s cleaner cut brother, Kurt.
Cute moment when Kurt comes out – Erik points out to his brother, “That’s Jeff Probst! He’s just standing there!” like the good fan-boy that he is. And, honestly? That’s what I wanted to see more of in this season – more of the gape-eyed awestruck adoration from the fans. I mean, how many of us get tongue tied when we see a celebrity? Rachael Ray served me beet risotto last December (a long story better left for the culinary blog) and I was just reduced to a grinning, nodding, beet-eating idiot. And that was just Rachael Ray! I cannot imagine the dribble I would become if I was ever in an elevator with Bruce Springsteen.
But I digress. The game continues, and the surveys are completed. First question: who does most for the tribe? Everyone but James says James (who really believes it about himself, but is way too humble to say so out loud). Amanda, Erik and Parvati take hits, while James takes two.
Next question: who never shuts up? The correct answer is Parvati, which is verified by mom Gail (“I knew it!”). This time around, Erik and Cirie take single chops while Alexis takes two. Everyone’s still alive, for now.
Who thinks they’re in control of the game – but they’re not? Everyone but Parv and Alexis say it’s Parvati, which is the correct answer. The chopping makes its way around, and Parvati’s last rope is cut, smashing a big stick with a spike in mini-Parv’s face. Ouch! Amanda points out, “That’s a little vicious, Jeff,” while the others laugh. Natalie, Cirie and Amanda also take hits this round.
Here’s a fun one – who’s the most honest? Apparently Alexis is the answer, but Cirie is the only one who gets it right. What good is being honest if no one knows it? Well, anyway, Cirie does the final chop of Erik’s rope and the fluffy do goes aflying off his statue.
Who are you least likely to invite to a family dinner? The answer is James, although I have no idea why (except for maybe the palate for bats). Everyone gets it right except Natalie. James, Cirie and Natalie get their final whacks this round (should someone cue up, “Don’t Stop Believing”?). Cirie has the final whack, and has to choose the winner – Amanda or Alexis. She whacks Amanda (although I’m not sure why – aren’t they playing that “Favorite Girls to the End” game?) and Alexis wins the challenge.
Alexis is told to choose two players and their loved ones, who will accompany her and her brother to Stingless Jellyfish Lagoon (or something like that). She picks Cirie and her girl Nat. She also has to pick someone to go to Exile Island, which Amanda makes easy by raising her hand. So, if you’re taking notes, Alexis sends Amanda to Exile and sets the stage for everything that is to come. Just keep that in mind.
James is met by the medic, who decides it’s too big a risk to leave him and his nasty injured finger in this dirty environment. James notes he’d rather be voted out (which looks like it was coming soon, anyway) but for the sake of all those unburied bodies, he’s out of the game. He wishes the rest of the tribe (read: Erik and Parv) goodbye. Erik notes he’s the only man left. Parvati rushes to the dictionary to look up the meaning of the word, “Man.”
Will Cirie be stung by a jellyfish? Will Erik be stung by the Black Widows? Will the viewer be stung by the editing? For the answers to these and other questions, stay tuned to this blog for part two of this Survivor recap.
TAGS: Survivor Reward James Immunity Idol Cirie Erik Amanda Probst Tv
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